Spark Hot Takes!

[00:00:02] Speaker A: Hello, everyone. I'm Carly Faulkner. [00:00:03] Speaker B: I'm Jaden Petrus. [00:00:04] Speaker C: And I'm Brandon Bush. And we are the co hosts of Sparke by Révolutionnaire, where we pass the. [00:00:10] Speaker A: Mic to voices who are not always. [00:00:11] Speaker B: Heard and have candid, informative conversations. On today's episode, we'll be sharing some hot takes. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to Spark by Reéolutionnaire. We're so excited to have you again and to have you hear all of our amazing conversations today. We have some hot topics for you, so stay tuned and, you know, come kick it with us while we discuss what's going on. [00:00:32] Speaker C: All right. Hi, guys. It's good to be back. [00:00:36] Speaker B: It's great to be back. I missed you guys. [00:00:38] Speaker A: Yes, you all. [00:00:40] Speaker B: So what are we going to talk about today? [00:00:42] Speaker A: Okay, so this week on Twitter or last week? [00:00:46] Speaker C: That's always how it starts. [00:00:47] Speaker A: Yes, of course, there was some controversy over, I think it was a majorette. She was at a pwi, predominantly white institution, and she decided to have her band or her dancers, I think, mimic sort of what HBCUs were doing with their dances. Historically black colleges, universities, for those who don't know. And it sparked some controversy over the whole HBCU PWI debate amongst black people and sort of like, what belongs strictly to HBCUs and what black and how black people can find their space at PWIs. And I think that we should sort of talk about that as Howard students and what our different opinions are about the whole thing. I know there's been a lot of opinions on Twitter, but I think since we're here in person, it won't be. [00:01:43] Speaker C: So polarized, I think, to start off. Okay, so first of all, I think we need to make the disclaimer that, like. Or I'll make the disclaimer for myself, because I don't know what everybody else believes on this topic. And y'all can agree if y'all do, but nobody, at least in my view, my very not so humble opinion, that nobody is stunting black people that go to PWIs. There are, or there were arguments that were saying, like, HBCUs are inaccessible because they're very expensive to other black people in the black community. And I recognize that because education generally is inaccessible to black people because of racism, period. So there's that. Nobody can help the fact that you are at your HBCU or you are at your pwi. And I went to my HBCU like that. That happened. Nobody can change that. It's there. [00:02:41] Speaker A: Right. [00:02:42] Speaker C: I think what my issue is is that I think the idea was to create a space for black people to feel comfortable, particularly black women. And I recognize that, and I actually celebrate that. Because at PWIs, I can't imagine that there are spaces. And I would encourage them to create spaces for themselves. But that does not have to require them to take from HBCUs, who we all acknowledge don't have the same amount of resources. They don't have the same amount of attention being drawn to them in regards to, you know, funding or programming and things of that nature. Depending on what HBCU you go to, I think that we're privileged enough that we came from Howard, and so there is a little bit more attention than some other HBCUs. But when it comes to that conversation, for me personally. [00:03:43] Speaker A: Such a pwi, you. [00:03:44] Speaker C: Don'T need to do all of that. [00:03:46] Speaker B: So, wait, I didn't see the original tweet. I remember I saw, like, some conversation about PWIs and HBCUs and staying in your lane or whatever it was. But what was said in the caption, was it something disparaging? Because I feel like this. [00:04:01] Speaker A: I don't. [00:04:01] Speaker B: Same debate. [00:04:02] Speaker A: I don't think it was disparaging. I think she said along the lines of her making a space within her PWI for these black dancers to sort of, I guess, express themselves in a way that had the same joy and the same, like, uplifting moments as we see at HBCUs when the majorettes are passing. And I think basically, to sum it up, I think she was just trying to make a space within her own PWI for those black dancers. Cause it did seem predominantly black, the majorette team. [00:04:40] Speaker B: So where did the negativity come in? [00:04:43] Speaker C: I think the negativity came in from the way that people were responding to it. I think that everybody recognized, like I said, like, you know, creating a space for yourself at a PWI is hard. It's hard to find those spaces, and you have to create them for yourself. [00:04:57] Speaker A: But the negativity did start when somebody said, this belongs this specific dance or type of dance major in dancing only at HBCUs. And it shouldn't be at PWIs, because. [00:05:09] Speaker C: It'S like a history to it. [00:05:10] Speaker A: Yeah. Because it's a historic thing. And it should be, I guess, only within HBCUs. And then so that started a debate. And so people were agreeing, people were disagreeing. And that sort of the issue there was sort of like, what gets to be kept at HBCUs when there are black people attending PWIs who are looking for their spaces to feel comfortable? [00:05:32] Speaker B: I have Varying like opinions surrounding that. I feel like for one, there's always some Twitter debate every year, every semester of like a PWI versus an hbcu and you know, something about the culture or like being envious of a part of this or that or like some type of debate, like, oh, you know, well, at least our PWIs give us resources. Well, at least our HBCU is have culture. It is a never ending battle. And I just feel like, I feel like throughout generations we. History has proven time and time again to repeat itself. And obviously there were the extremes where black people were obviously enslaved, taken from their native country countries and enslaved. And there's always some type of system put in place to be divisive. [00:06:14] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:06:14] Speaker B: So I feel like however that's transformed throughout the years, throughout the generations. Now in 2022, it's just a stupid, another stupid way to be divisive. [00:06:23] Speaker C: Yeah, we're getting really Toni Morrison quote that people were like talking about on the timeline. I think it was relating to this or just like overall topics that we have around race of how like there's always going to be something, there's always going to be a thing that we're talking about that's distracting us from what the real issues are or what the real problem is. This general, I don't know, I just. [00:06:47] Speaker A: Think like, just go to your prospective schools and do what's comfortable for you. If you are not discriminating against anybody, if you are not violating any community guidelines, if you're not doing anything inherently wrong. I don't see an issue with what she did. I really don't. I thought it was also, I mean, honestly, I thought it was like enduring of her. It was sort of paying homage. Maybe there could have been a path she taken where she wanted to go to hbcu. Who knows why she didn't go? Who really cares? We can't really figure. We can't. You know, that's her personal business. But at the end of the day, is she. She I think took inspiration from HBCUs. I don't see that as like appropriating. We're all African Americans or we're all a part of it. Even if we're not American Africans, we're all a part of the diaspora. And I think that this is how we all find our own little comfortable spaces. [00:07:50] Speaker B: Yeah, I definitely agree. I just feel like there are certain aspects of the HBCU experience that are sacred to the hbcu. But this style of dancing, like it's in situations of cultural appropriation we're talking about another, a completely different culture. Taking from, in this instance, the black community, the black culture, the black aspects and taking. Turning it into something that we don't recognize. And then they call it something different. And it takes like the front hold of global awareness. So now instead of calling it what we know as what. Uh, let's, let's have an example. A bonnet. It's a. Or no. What do they call lotioning and moisturizing? I saw something about them sleeving. It's the new word for is sleeving. It's. Yeah. Lotion. Is they. I don't know, it's newly discovered. But aspects of like the black community have been copied for as long as our parents. Parents can remember. [00:08:52] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:08:53] Speaker B: So I just feel like in relation to that, there's aspects of the HBCU experience that are sacred, but this is just sharing amongst black people. I don't think she did anything like. [00:09:03] Speaker A: Right. You know, and it's, I mean, it's a, it's a. It's a style of dance. She specifically said that's where she got it from. [00:09:10] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:09:11] Speaker A: I really don't see anything wrong. It's not like she said, oh, I made this dance up on my own. [00:09:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:09:18] Speaker A: So, yeah, I think that's where the issue lies, is sort of drawing a line between different types of black people and sort of like, oh, well, we can only do this, this type black person can do this or this type black person can do that, or because you like this, you can't. You don't relate to this experience or because this is this, this. And the third, I think at the end of the day is like, again, we are all living this like shared experience of being black in a predominantly white continent or a predominantly non black continent. And I think that however people cope with that or adjust to that or sort of try to like find themselves within that space is commendable. And I wouldn't really, I don't know, I wouldn't really try to give them like flack for. Or slack like, you know. [00:10:14] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:10:15] Speaker A: But I think definitely it should be. I don't know, it shouldn't be as divisive as it is with that. [00:10:21] Speaker B: Like, with taking that. Why did you want to go to an hbcu? [00:10:24] Speaker C: Personally, I wanted to go to a HBCU specifically because I did not want to have to worry about creating a space for myself at a pwi. I didn't want to come to my school and be worried about what my classmate was going to say out of whack in my. In my Intro to Political Science, Right? [00:10:42] Speaker B: Yes. [00:10:43] Speaker A: So, I mean, does it take away from your HBCU experience or other people's HBCU experience? [00:10:50] Speaker C: I don't think that it takes away from. I don't. But I also don't think that that's like, the overall, like, gist. I think that the. There's just this idea that what happens at HBCUs are sacred because we had to create all of these things for ourselves. And so you can have these spaces. You can create these spaces at your PWIs, because that's what's needed. Black people need spaces at PW Wis. I encourage that and I push that. They need those spaces and they need that community. But you don't have to pull from this bucket, this HBCU bucket, and be like, I'm gonna come over here. [00:11:30] Speaker A: But I. Sorry, go ahead. [00:11:31] Speaker B: I was gonna say, like, I think in those situations with this, within this debate, it's a lot of, like, pull and push. Like, in an instance, let's say, like, people from a PWI say something about an HBCU negatively, then the HBCU finds a need to, like, you know, bring up this about the pwi, and then it's like a back and forth, back and forth. [00:11:54] Speaker C: That definitely happens. [00:11:55] Speaker B: It definitely happened. [00:11:56] Speaker C: And I feel like that's what happened with this particular thing. And that's another problem of mine. Like, she was trying to create a space that does not warrant anybody to sit up here and try and talk down on her. [00:12:10] Speaker A: Well, real quick, I think my thing is, or what I predict with, like, I think this ties back to social media. It was found on social media. The argument started on social media, and I think a lot of it. And you said inspiration, where people from, black people from PIs get inspiration from. Cultures are blending a lot quicker than how they used to, especially with social media. People are getting inspiration everywhere. Yeah, I don't really. As much as, you know, I believe HBCUs are sacred. I believe their traditions are very important. They tie back to the history of those exact institutions. [00:12:50] Speaker B: Yes. [00:12:50] Speaker A: But I think that there's going to be a time, whether we like it or not, that a lot of our traditions are going to bleed into PWIs because of what's seen on social media, because of what's being posted. We have an influence. [00:13:05] Speaker B: We've had an influence. And as HBCUs become more prominent and more. More recognized than they happen in the past, I think people are going, you know, there's going to be a Natural envy. There's going to be a natural imitation. There's going to be a natural, like, wave of wanting to be like, look at Beyonce, Beyonce's homecoming. She just did a whole homecoming. HBCU inspired. [00:13:27] Speaker C: I thought that was a really good argument that somebody brought up was like, how can we be upset with this happening but not upset with Beyonce? I think that there's very valid arguments against both. [00:13:37] Speaker A: Before I forget, what I'm trying to say is basically, I think that cultures, I mean, it's just going to bleed in more people are going to understand different lived experiences a lot better as, again, we're living in this era of social media. And I don't know, I. I feel like it's, it's inevitable. And the same way that, you know, integration happened, it was inevitable. And now people, white people know about bonnets. They know. Or a lot of them, A lot of them know about bonds. They know about certain rap rappers, rap music, different cultures of African American. [00:14:15] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:16] Speaker A: Culture. So it's like black, you know, black Americans are going to. Who go to PWIs, are going to adopt certain traditions that were in HBCUs that weren't adopted before. I think we're entering new territory where that's happening because of social media, because of, you know, there's a lot of influence out there. There's a lot of inspiration. And I don't see it as nefarious. I don't really see it as appropriation. I think it kind of betters us all. It makes. Keeps us informed, and I think it just shares the culture. And as long as we're as it keeps getting presented that way, as what the young lady did, how she said it's from an hbcu, hbcu culture, I don't really see an issue with spreading it. [00:15:05] Speaker B: I completely agree. I think we're in an age of digital creation where in a lot of times things are going to get used for inspiration. And I think in this situation, it was a black girl who created a space for other black women and she credited where her inspiration came from. And I feel like in this situation, there have been so many other conversations where PWI students have completely disrespected the groundwork of HBCUs and the actual, the actual purpose of the. Of, of. Of these institutions and why they were created. And I feel like this is such a minute issue when it comes to these conversations. I think anybody who's had an actual real HBCU experience, whatever that means for them, I know the overall is like every class you're in. Even if it's in a math class or a class that has nothing to do with the Black diaspora, some type of black thought is going to get brought up. You're going to have this feeling, this feeling of at least at one point in your experience at an hbcu, you're going to have a feeling this. Of being, you know, accepted in a part of a community. And I feel like that's an unwavering and unmatching feeling that you will not necessarily have at a pwi. And I feel like the people who know that are the people who don't have a big say in this conversation because it means nothing. [00:16:25] Speaker A: Right. [00:16:25] Speaker B: You know, that's just my opinion on the situation. [00:16:28] Speaker C: Gotcha. [00:16:29] Speaker A: Well, we feel like we flushed this out as much as possible. [00:16:34] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:16:35] Speaker A: What other hot takes are there? What's going on in the news today that we can. Or in the, you know, social media? [00:16:42] Speaker C: Well, we. Okay, so y'all know how online or on Twitter or wherever you get your social medias from, right? How there's always these debates, these random scenarios and prompts that people pose. Like if your husband and your child were drowning, who are you gonna say? [00:17:05] Speaker A: Oh, like the hypothetical. [00:17:07] Speaker C: Hypotheticals. What y'all think about them? Well, just overall, like hypotheticals in regards to relationships generally. Like what people will and won't do in relationships. These weird prompts. Who's gonna be paying for the birthday dinner? All of these different things. [00:17:25] Speaker A: Like are you, are you letting your mother in law sit in the front seat? [00:17:28] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:17:28] Speaker B: We should just have. First of all, before we have this conversation, we should just acknowledge that some people do not need to be on social media. Why are these props so like just left out of left field, Left America. [00:17:39] Speaker A: And also, why do these prompts spark so much heated argument? Like it's so much. [00:17:45] Speaker C: It's so polarized. [00:17:46] Speaker A: Yeah. And fake relationship scenarios. [00:17:49] Speaker B: Fake, fake scenario. [00:17:51] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:17:52] Speaker C: Like girl, you've been single your whole life. You talking about you never going to be in a situation where your man and your child is drowning at the same time. [00:18:00] Speaker B: I think that speaks to how first of all how like pessimistic social media can be. [00:18:05] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:06] Speaker B: I'm going to go to. If we're going to talk about that for real, how you we. I feel like we've mentioned this before, but 90% of those comments in the comment sections of these posts and these prompts would not be said in person, right? [00:18:18] Speaker C: No, they wouldn't. [00:18:18] Speaker B: I. [00:18:19] Speaker A: Right. [00:18:19] Speaker B: Social media. [00:18:20] Speaker C: Has they not bothered like that? [00:18:21] Speaker B: Such balls to say and do whatever they want that they would never say and do in person. So why are you, why are you giving people like ultimatums? That would never happen. [00:18:31] Speaker C: Yeah, I just feel like me personally as somebody who is just coming out of a seven year, very healthy relationship, the things that people talk about online in regards to what they will and won't do, these scenarios that they make up require a lot of compromise, require a lot of work. That's one. Okay. That's one thing about like relationship conversations online that really bugs out of me how people talk about how, oh, when I get into a relationship, I want it to be this, this, this every day. I don't want any of the problems. Why can't we just exist and be cool? If you understand, if you are a human being and you understand how communication works, you understand that everybody interprets how everyone says or what everyone says differently. [00:19:23] Speaker A: Right. [00:19:24] Speaker C: There's like you could mean one thing and I hear something completely different. [00:19:28] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:19:28] Speaker C: And so with that being the case, there's always going to be conflict that arises and there's always going to need to be work that needs to happen and there's always going to need to be a plan of action or some sort of compromise in order for you to figure out how you are going to move forward. You don't get to come into a relationship talking about what you will and won't do. I mean, there are certain things where. [00:19:49] Speaker A: It'S like what you won't compromise for. [00:19:52] Speaker C: If you living in your mama house or you ain't got no car or I mean me personally, that doesn't really matter to me. But there are certain things that, you know, are red flags, you know, like you 30, why are you in your mama? [00:20:06] Speaker A: That's why I think things should be fleshed out in the very beginning. [00:20:10] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:20:12] Speaker A: And also I think everyone assumes that the other person is the enemy, the other person is against them. I think that's the issue is this lack of empathy that goes on because of the superficiality that's on social media and how people like to make jokes out of like X, Y and Z in different, in these fake scenarios. And so I think that when it's just two people communicating and fleshing that out, a lot more can be said. [00:20:39] Speaker B: Communication is sometimes difficult though. [00:20:42] Speaker C: It's very difficult. [00:20:43] Speaker B: It's extremely difficult, you know, especially when you feel like you're going to be too vulnerable, you don't want to, you're not used to that. If you didn't grow up around that. I mean, you know, I think you practice what you see, and a lot of the times people don't see, like if we're going to talk about statistic wise, what's the divorce rate now? How many people are getting divorced? How many people have seen long lasting marriages and relationships that they can emulate? [00:21:07] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:21:07] Speaker A: You know, if they want to. [00:21:08] Speaker B: That they want to emulate. And so you have this whole population and demographic of people who are like, you know, they want to compete in the trouble wars, they want to, you know, have something to be defensive about. And you know, then they spend however long their 20s and I'm still at the beginning of my 20s, so I have yet to experience that for me personally. But as somebody who dates, why are you 28, interested in a 21 year old? Why don't woman your age want you? That's, that's. [00:21:39] Speaker A: And like why are you going after specific only 21 year old or 20? [00:21:43] Speaker B: That's a problem. That's a problem. And that tells me that you've engaged in a cycle of toxicness for how 21, 28 for seven years. [00:21:51] Speaker C: Right? Yeah. [00:21:52] Speaker B: That's crazy. [00:21:53] Speaker A: Why are you chasing this, this. Or why are you trying to keep this age gap when you're dating and. [00:21:59] Speaker B: Then you go on social media and then it becomes this whole hypothal hypothetical situation and then it creates more trump, more wars, more fights and then people. [00:22:09] Speaker A: Are stressed out over fake scenarios. [00:22:11] Speaker B: Fake scenarios, babe. [00:22:14] Speaker C: Typing up whole thing pieces, typing up whole books. Yeah, they, they got the New York Times bestseller because somebody decided to say who's going to pay for the birthday dinner? Boyfriend. [00:22:29] Speaker A: People have like, people work. I think people have different preferences for things. [00:22:33] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:22:34] Speaker A: And there shouldn't be this one rule book to how relationships should work. [00:22:38] Speaker C: Yeah, it's. [00:22:39] Speaker A: I feel like it's different for everyone because everybody's different. Exactly. Which is why. [00:22:43] Speaker B: All right, speaking of which, social media prompts, have you guys seen that? You know Telfar is coming out with like their new collection of red bags and I remember seeing a post where was like, oh, if he doesn't get me a Telfar on the 23rd or whatever, you know, he doesn't like me, he doesn't love me. [00:23:00] Speaker C: So me personally, I mean, I don't got no boo no more, I ain't got no man. I could never have my own. And I'm broke and it's about to be my birthday. Like that's sad. Like you ain't got no man. It's about to be your birthday. You broke. You can't even buy yourself no tell. No tell. Her like, like, what you doing? That's how I feel about it. I have no place real quick. [00:23:25] Speaker B: Get you a little bath. You know, I need it for school. [00:23:30] Speaker C: Right. I need it for. I got something to do. Just get it. [00:23:37] Speaker B: No, but, like, what do you think? Like, I. When did Selfar become, like, the big hype? Was it a couple years ago? [00:23:44] Speaker A: I heard about it in College. So, like, 20, 19. 2020? [00:23:47] Speaker C: Yeah. Like, right before the pandemic. [00:23:49] Speaker B: Yeah, right before the pandemic. I just feel like it was like an overnight sensation. [00:23:52] Speaker C: Yeah, it was. [00:23:53] Speaker B: You know, there's probably, obviously people that, you know, grew up with it, but it was, for me, an overnight sensation. Came back from Christmas break and everybody had a telfar. [00:24:02] Speaker C: I. I've wanted one. I don't have one, but I want one. Me and my sister was literally just talking about it, like, asking me, like, what did I want for my birthday? Or no, not what I wanted for my birthday, for Christmas. And I was like, either a telfar bag. Of shoes. But yeah, I would love one if there was a man to get me one for my birthday. I would absolutely love that. But it's not like a deal breaker. Like, if you don't give me a. [00:24:23] Speaker B: Telfar bag, like, I'm gonna be dragging it. [00:24:27] Speaker C: Yeah, leave it alone. [00:24:28] Speaker B: We got a lot to think about. Half of this, half of the stuff that we be saying out loud, it takes us a minute to even bring up, you know, so. Well, that's just me. I don't wanna generalize, but, you know, I be marinating with stuff sometimes. So if I want that telfar and you didn't get me a Telfar on the 23rd, it's gonna take me to the 30th to tell you I'm upset about it. [00:24:46] Speaker C: I'm dead. Not to the 30th, but that's why you just tell your man now, like, hey, I said expressly I would like this for my birthday or I would like this for whatever reason. And you didn't get me that. Why not? You know, there's. There's nothing wrong with that. Like, if you expressly say, this is what I want. [00:25:05] Speaker A: Yeah, this. This is about, like, sort of gift giving. [00:25:08] Speaker C: Less about. [00:25:09] Speaker A: Less about the telfar, more I think. [00:25:11] Speaker C: I think that that's it. More so about the idea of gift giving. Yeah. Rather than it's a telfar and you ain't giving me a telfar. [00:25:19] Speaker A: Right. [00:25:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:21] Speaker C: And so, like I said, I feel like that's, again, where the communication aspect comes in. If you feel a Certain type of way, like, hey, I said that I wanted this, and, you know, that didn't happen. What? What's up? I don't think that there's anything necessarily wrong with that, but like I said to be like, oh, my God, like a telephone. Like, you need to give me a telephone. Okay. It's a bag. You can get that at any point in time. [00:25:45] Speaker B: You can get that at a point in time. [00:25:46] Speaker A: Yeah, it's going to be there. [00:25:48] Speaker C: Yeah. It's not going nowhere. I mean, if it does, it's a bag. There's many other brands. [00:25:53] Speaker A: I think gifts are, of course, important for letting people know that you're endeared, you're loved. But if someone really wants something, I don't think that. And I'm just. I'm probably just like. What's the word? Making it a bigger deal than it is. But if someone really wants something, then they should strive to get it less on relying about the other person when it comes to treats and gifts. Of course it's something nice. You don't. You don't strictly. You don't need it. You're not yearning for it every single day. But if it is something where it's like that, where you're yearning for it and you're needing, you really want it. I think people should try to focus more of how they themselves can get that. [00:26:41] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:41] Speaker A: Because it can lead to, like, dependence on the other person and pressure on the other person. Whereas I think that's not the purpose of gift giving. I think it's more of, like a spontaneous act. [00:26:52] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:26:52] Speaker B: I think. Yeah. I. [00:26:53] Speaker A: Or for holidays. [00:26:55] Speaker B: I. I agree. I agree with parts of that. I feel like, yeah, I'm a stickler for. If I want it, I'm gonna go get it. You know, for me, like, if I. I'm gonna make it work. I don't rely on anybody to get me anything. I get my own stuff. [00:27:09] Speaker A: Right. [00:27:09] Speaker B: I feel like in terms of gift giving, and I can speak from kind of personal experience. I think it's like a situation where, like, let's say you really want something and your. Your partner, your significant other, whoever it may be, family member, friend, knows that you want this item. And maybe you guys have a relationship where you've established that gift giving is a thing. And for special occasions, and let's say, like, you know, you really want this item, you really want this. Da, da, da. And you know that your significant other is aware of this in some capacity, and then they go out of their way to do something maybe extra extravagant. Or, like, just completely different from what you wanted. I think that's when it becomes a problem of, like, just not actively listening. [00:27:56] Speaker A: Right. [00:27:56] Speaker B: Because if, like, this is an antidote, like, speaking from personal experience, like, I asked my partner for a love letter. Oh, didn't it? Like, Because I, you know, like, you know, little items like that are what I appreciate. It's different for everybody. And it took, like, a year. And me bringing it up, like, three different times in that past year, it was always some excuse. [00:28:18] Speaker A: It took a year. A year for their partner to write a letter. [00:28:26] Speaker B: The first excuse was they. The excuse was they didn't have stamps and they didn't know where to get the proper envelopes, and they didn't know how to write a letter. But I'm like, yeah, you don't know how to write that. But I think he would replace those gifts with, like, big things, like, just things that I didn't really ask for. I appreciate it. And then I would have to be like, you know, I'm so thankful for this. And if I said anything different, then it was like, damn, she don't appreciate what I got her. [00:28:54] Speaker C: When you could have just listened to what I wanted. [00:28:56] Speaker A: It's you saying, it's not you not appreciating. It's you saying that, hey, you know, you're doing all of this. It seems like you're overcompensating for the thing that I'm asking for. [00:29:06] Speaker B: Yeah. There were just, like, tons of excuses. And I think instead of. In situations like this, instead of listening to your partner, I think they. The overcompensation comes in, like, oh, I'm giving you something nice and something grand. You should be grateful for it. But it's not what I wanted. I think that's a lot. In a lot of situations, you know, relationships and partners just need to communicate and listen to each other because they're you. They tell you what you want. You just have to, you know, be cognizant. Yeah, I've been listening. I don't know if you. If you guys read, but I've been listening to audiobooks lately and hitting into it. I've been reading Colleen Hoover books. [00:29:42] Speaker A: Oh, my girl. Put that down. Put it down. Have you read Verity? I have. [00:29:46] Speaker B: I just finished it last week. [00:29:47] Speaker A: What'd you think? [00:29:48] Speaker B: I first saw the ending. [00:29:49] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:29:49] Speaker B: What was that? I don't know. [00:29:51] Speaker A: No, like, Colleen, here's my issue with her. [00:29:55] Speaker B: Why? [00:29:55] Speaker A: What happened is she makes these books that are just ridiculous. The plot is very much fan fiction, but it's also like, Very intense, and action like. [00:30:07] Speaker B: You know what I mean? [00:30:08] Speaker A: It's like Lifetime. [00:30:10] Speaker B: I was reading. Oh, yeah, it is. Like, you're right. I'm reading reminders of him right now. I've almost finished. Got like, 10 pages left. [00:30:16] Speaker A: Yeah, I thought the very name I read Variant. I said I'm good off of Colleen. [00:30:20] Speaker B: Yeah. That's the first book they told me to read by her. [00:30:22] Speaker A: Yeah, same. You should read. You should read his and Hers. I don't know who it's by. [00:30:27] Speaker B: His and Hers. It's on my list. [00:30:28] Speaker A: It's good. Okay. It's good. [00:30:30] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm so into audio books now. [00:30:32] Speaker C: I need to get into audiobooks I used to read all the time, but now it's just like, I hate, like, being. I hate, like, having to sit down and, like, actually, like, focus on the book. Well, I think that all of the things that we've talked about so far were really amazing. There's a lot of insight given. Y'all are very wise, taking a lot from y'all. And so I'm hoping that we can continue to make this magic happen on future episodes of Sparked by Revolutionaire. So make sure y'all tune in for more episodes coming soon. Coming soon, period. And we out, period. Hey, y'all, make sure that y'all stay tuned for more episodes for Spark by Révolutionnaire.